Category Archives: THE FEELING PROJECT

10 Anti-Anxiety Tools & Must Haves


10 Anti-Anxiety Tools & Must Haves.

Anxiety affects us all at one point or another. If it is extreme it can be completely debilitating. If it is minor it will still stop you in your tracks causing stress. It alters your life experience often in a negative way so to help Anxiety here are my top 10 Anti-anxiety tools to have in your belt to use every day.

Some times we need to set ourselves an intervention! Are you ready to plan your intervention?

An intervention to Help Anxiety can start small or you can go big. There are many anti-anxiety tools out there. Tools that have worked best for me I refer to as ‘like walking through the rain forest’. The vibration of the rain forest environment is completely different to the vibration in your brain. As you walk through you are drawn to the higher vibration and amazement. The same thing happens when you place yourself in any situation that can change your vibration. You come out the other side with a new perspective, a rearrange synapsis or the story on rotation stops. Basically you become connected to you in a whole new way.

Anything that makes the story stop or changes your current experience can help anxiety. Here are 10 Anti-Anxiety tools & must haves in my life that I use everyday to maintain relief.
  1. Firstly remove gossip and small talk about the topic that is running around in your head. It perpetuates the anxiety. When you talk about the topic make it meaningful. Ensure you know the intention behind the words coming out of your mouth. It is always best to tell your story and not keep it inside. My suggestion is make a time to intentionally talk about what is causing you anxiety. Choose someone who will listen and who will not perpetuate the story. Tell it, notice your story, your reactions and let it be. Reliving it over and over doesn’t help.
  2. Reiki is great for brain chatter. The vibrations from the reiki raise and alter your lower vibration so you no longer hold the space for the chatter. The vicious cycle of going around and around in your head ceases allowing you space to get your bearings. Here is a Reiki in action. 
  3. Systemic Constellations – a mind, body & soul connection tool that is great for new perspectives in any part of your life, the different types of constellations vary, the most deep & profound heal past atrocities, traumas, relationships in your past that are affecting you from moving forward now. We often have repeat patterns in our life that cause anxiety. Constellations offer a different view and usually reveal hidden dynamics that you are not aware. Often the root cause of the anxiety in the first place. Systemic Constellations is an amazing process that allows you to move forward in life in a completely different way . This work alters every cell in your body & it ripples to the people around you. It is profound. Hence why I became a facilitator. 🙂 Find out more 
  4. Meditation is a great way to make friends with your ego, the ruler of your anxiety. Meditation is an amazing tool for getting in touch with your brain chatter and taking charge. Meditation is a magnificent tool for people who want to alleviate anxiety & get serious in knowing themselves. It connects us mind-body-soul. If you haven’t meditated before I would suggest getting some guidance as there are many ways to meditate. It’s best to try a few different ways to see what works best for you. There are many different types, here are some; moving meditation, vipasana, breath-focused meditation, flow meditation, mantra lead meditation.  
  5. Getting outdoors, exercising and recharging from nature, yes, hugging trees! Yes it changes you, connects you and it’s free. Trees don’t have an anxious vibration, they vibrate at the highest level of consciousness. Take advantage of that and go be with the trees. You don’t have to hug them just waking through and around them works just as affectively to help anxieyt. The ocean has the same effect. I call the ocean where I go for my daily walk “my office”. It is where I do my best work and get clear while getting in my exercise session.  The vibrations in nature are source energy so intentionally connecting helps anxiety. It is extremely difficult to stay in an anxious state when you are present to source energy. The exercise is really important also as it moves stuck or stagnate energy in your body. It moves pain or unwanted emotions. Walking, Yoga, running, whatever your poison, get onto it regularly.
  6. Practicing Gratitude, change the story. Find a more positive experience help anxiety with a proactive of appreciation and gratitude. You can’t stay in anxiety if you change your story to a positive one, it is impossible. Often it is difficult to do this if you are caught up in something. When I first started making a conscious effort to find gratitude it was struggle. Once it became part of my routine I couldn’t stop and I had list after list. I ran a 365 day gratitude program on my Facebook account for two years. I executed it on Facebook so that I would hold myself accountable and don’t worry other people did also. I had a friend who would keep track of my posting times (that was his thing). It ensured I made it before midnight that day. The other reason I did it on Facebook was so that I filled my social media with positivity. We can get caught in the negative conscience of others, the media, different groups & organisations. Choosing what vibration you want also means choosing the types of people & groups you want in your life, the things you see that become part of your conscience. We think we don’t have a choice but we do!
  7. Time and in the moment experiences, staying present to what is around you. Learning how to open your focus rather than pin pointing on to one thing. Awareness is crucial and you can alter it and take a wider viewpoint. This is something you can learn quite easily and I teach it in a lot of my workshops & in my one on ones with clients. Having a wider viewpoint allows you to see more than just yourself & what’s right in front of you. Giving you alternatives to your anxious point of view. This also allows you to question what you are thinking about that is making you anxious. Anxiety comes when we feel we don’t have enough space so creating space with intention helps with this process. A good way to also look at time is that you create it rather than it being an external experience. I know when I am in a hurry and I can feel my anxiety levels increase, I stop breathe, notice that I am running on external time, breathe again & tell my self everything is of divine time and boom! Guess what, everything then calmly falls into place. Always. It’s only my story about time that keeps me out of the present & how it looks. It’s like being stuck in traffic, you can calmly enjoy your drive on your time and the traffic moves accordingly. Or you can drive anxiously worried and angrily and the traffic still moves accordingly. Often making you later or giving you the sense that you are. You arrive stressed and your day will continue down that spiral. If I go on internal time I am at one with where I am at and go with the flow. My day then continues to follow that path. It’s funny when I think I am running late & I shift my focus, the person I am meeting is usually late or only available from the time I arrive and it works out perfectly. Practicing trust is key to this also.
  8. Witnessing other people’s profound experiences reminds us that our anxious beliefs are possibly not true or not even relevant. When something is profound it connects us on a deep level to our heart & soul. People who come to a constellation workshop who don’t have a constellation often walk away just as connected. They are touched by witnessing the experience of someone else. Connecting you to what is really important, meaningful & courageous in their own lives.
  9. Taking a break – even if it’s 15 mins. Stop, breathe, walk outside, and reconnect this will help anxiety. I always step out and sit on my front step for 10mins between work activities. I sit with the lavender plant, the rose bushes, the herbs, the birds and the bees. Beside the fact that they are extremely beautiful & interesting, it re-connects me to source & in-turn to myself. Use your own garden or a park. I can feel it alter my conscious state from the moment I sit down.
  10. Stay away from electronic devices if your anxiety levels are high. The vibration is low and will keep you stagnate – try a phone intervention. Go 1hr or 1 day without access. This will also tap into your addict so I suggest a lot of breathing through it. Those in offices, walk away from your computer on the hour, otherwise you brain becomes exactly like a computer the difference is the computer doesn’t have a body that respond to the unconscious thoughts creating negative & low vibration feelings and bodily pain. Ensure you walk away. Set an alarm if you have to. It’s so easy to look up and say oh wow it’s been 3hrs. Which we all know is not good for your posture or mind.

As a recovered anxiety sufferer finding support to help anxiety is of the utmost importance. I hope the ideas above get you thinking of ways to help you set your intervention plan into place. I hope it opens you up to new ideas & out of the box ways that you may not have considered and you give them a go. Anxiety often keeps us thinking that there is no way out. That is part of the vicious circle and it is simply not true. As a solution driven coach there is always options, different points of view and even in the moment experiences that can change that racing heart & mind.

Find out how you can relieve your anxiety at work. CLICK HERE.

by Eiran Trethowan – Open for Life



Inspired Leadership

A Willingness to do it differently

Inspired Leadership

Inspired Leadership has a place in many facets of our lives… be it, work, business, governments, associations, groups and individuals leading their lives in different ways. In my own research over my past 20 years in leadership roles in various industries, in my work and study of groups, in my own leadership development and in my work facilitating systemic constellations I have come across many different ways leadership can be effective. I have found that the most effective and the most inspirational always put people and relationships first over profit & power and most do their best to leave their ego at the door.

A great leader sets an example and allows team members to follow and then lead in their own unique way while working towards an agreed vision. Inspired leadership often involves having hard and heart felt conversations that express ones own vulnerability, showing courage in conversations that encourage trust. They open an honest two-way communication, allowing trust and credibility to build, especially when mistakes are made and responsibility is taken, turning it around for the benefit of all.

An Inspired leader sees people and relationships as the key aspect of the development and function of their business because this is how collaboration happens and in turn how change, innovation & profit occur. What I have established is that collaboration is actually key to profit making, even when one person is working with a mentor. According to a study conducted by UPS, 70 percent of mentored businesses survive more than five years, double the rate for non-mentored small businesses over that same period. The same study also showed that 88 percent of business owners say having a mentor to lean on is “invaluable.

When we make decisions solely on profit making without considering the people collaborating to ensure success then that success will be limited and in some cases fail all together. In my work with systemic constellations, most clients get confused about their vision, the people they are serving and begin to look at their staff only as a cause for the lack of success. They exclude the people in their decisions, visions & products. They get caught up in past dynamics that no longer serve, or they move forward too quickly not honouring those people that came before.

There is often little consideration about staff when profits are not being made, management, as I like to call ineffective leadership (i.e. they manage, not lead) turn downward in the structure and exclude staff that are following their managements ineffective direction. The saying “who can we put on the chopping block” is simply true and it usually goes down the line until the bottom tier is effected to the point of job loss because management were not willing to look at themselves in the bigger picture also. Sometimes the hidden dynamics are out of their control because of previous history or external forces. I will note here, it’s not always because they don’t have the inspired leadership skills its possibly because they are not employing them.

I had a corporate client that was about to let go all of their younger sales staff who weren’t “doing” their job from a revenue perspective and they were on the verge of losing their biggest client. After completing a systemic constellation, it showed that this actually wasn’t required. Firstly, it showed the sales staff were being trained and lead by someone who had never sold product or trained staff. This person was put in the position to caretake and was not really leading anyone effectively. In saying that no one was really leading them either and you will see why below.

The constellation then showed that they were not about to lose their biggest client because of the sales staff. It was because the top tiered management was not effective in their role. The Manager did not feel the top leadership position was truly their position. This was due to dynamics within the business with other senior relationships that spilled into his personal life. Decision had been made that where not respected and changes in management were not clear.

Using a systemic approach the damaging dynamics were established and the causes of the dis-function were highlighted the Manager was able to take his position of true leadership and fully embody them. The embodiment was a work in progress however the awareness itself created results with their biggest client relationship becoming more effective. Inspired leadership is an on going process of self-evaluation, with the inclusion of people, relationships and continuing development.

Great leadership takes courage, a willingness to take ownership and responsibility and a willingness to do it differently from the people before them who only focused mainly on profit & power. Inspired leaders put people first in order to create collaboration on all levels, in all relationships both internally and externally. So I leave this with you… Are you willing to lead with courage & inspire others by setting examples and embodying your leadership qualities in whatever part of your life you require them? We all have them, sometimes we just need someone to see them in us and help us get other distractions out of the way to ensure we are effective. Happy Leading!

Eiran Trethowan – Business Consultant, Mentor & Counsellor.

A systemic approach is a great way to explore your leadership dynamics, responses within the business to your leadership, responses with clients & how you can improve or embody them more. It is also great at seeing what needs development & how function is tracking and what is possible to move forward effectively. If you would like more information on a Systemic Consultation for your leadership, career or business please email me or give me a call. or 0466 495711


More information on the Systemic Approach to Leadership from Jane Peterson from the Human Systems Institute in the US.

Boys Clubs Can Show Women A New Way!


I am going to start with a bold statement: Boys clubs can show women a new way! Yes, I said it. There is something about the boys club that has enabled them to be successful even when their approach is often driven by ego, competiveness, bullying, negative masculine power & a weak & scarcity culture. Yes we have seen them do it over and over again, in business in particular. I do however think they are onto the one thing that women in business missed. They embrace the ‘have your back mentality’, the ‘support your own first’ & the stick together mentality, they compete with each other but in the end they stick together.

Now, this wasn’t our fault as women because we had been such a minority in corporate environments and our true essence had been suppressed since way back when (yes that still comes into it today, it gets passed from generation to generation, its in our bones). We tried to fit into the boys club and the only way to do that was to take on what they did, we tried to become them & that was how it had to be for a while. In that though the supportive pack mentality never came with us. We were a minority & we were made to believe those positions were scarce and in that we ended up competing against each other for those top spots.

We think we need to take on the warrior mentality but it is not our natural state of being and what happened in the process we lost our way trying to survive. By competing, being jealous, wanting what they have, taking down others or not embracing each other in our most wonderful state, exactly as we are, we miss the potential there is for all of us. We miss developing each other. We miss the growth potential for us all because we are driven by fear.


So let me remind you, the force of women in the workplace is building, the management and leadership positions and women who have started their own incredible businesses is growing but to get more of us into these position we need to change the way we think about each other in these environments. We have been trained into thinking for a very long time, generation to generation, that there isn’t enough to go around, that we have to play small, that we have a place, that we are not anything except a body, Well it starts today: this is just not true.

We as women are going to be our most wonderful selves our unique amazing selves, intuitive, open hearted, empathic & heart leading but to do that we need to support each other. We need to encourage and I mean really encourage each other. I sit with clients all day who have the belief that they are not enough, they have no value or worth, they don’t put themselves first, they suffer the woman’s guilt phenomenon (this is a whole other blog). They don’t believe in themselves to shine. Well, it doesn’t have to be that way and it starts with you and how we as a group support each other & raise each other to our empowerment for a better life and while we are at it we also make room for more men to step up in a positive & healthy way as well.

Now I know I am not the first woman on this bandwagon and this is not saying what the women did was wrong or the men for that matter, it was what how it was. There are women who support this cause all over the world. I would also like to admit that I have been one of those women at many times through out my life who hasn’t supported other women. It does make people uncomfortable to hear the truth about themselves in this way, me included but we need to start somewhere. My bandwagon is about empowering you as a woman in a way that doesn’t walk all over other people to succeed and if someone else is succeeding that doesn’t mean they are a threat. It’s not about teaching you to get to the top the old way, its about embracing you exactly as you are in all your power, truly putting yourself first so you can share yourself with the world, that in itself has you at the top.

I know there are a lot of other components that come into play with working in an organisation & running a business for any person but it’s hard enough so why add in not supporting each other and make it even tougher. All it takes is awareness & empathy and it starts with you & I. Two women at a time! Supporting each other! Come on join the club!

With Gratitude


Holistic Counsellor, Corporate Consultant
Eiran Trethowan is owner for Open for Life offering Holistic Counselling & Business, Corporate Consulting Services.